AGHHHHHHHHHH... (breathing) ...AGHHHHHHHHH

This Sunday I turn 23. Surely my life is plunging into a downward spiral now, because what more do I have to look forward to? At 16 I could drive, at 18 I gained the right to vote and smoke tobacco, and upon my 21st birthday I earned the privilege of buying alcohol for myself instead of having to give money to an older friend to get it for me. Even 22 offered some promise, as it marked the year of my graduation from university. But now, at 23, what’s the next great milestone? Losing my hair and getting wrinkles at 40? Great!

To reflect on the downward spiral my life has become, I decided to take not one, not two, but THREE literal plunges in the form of bungy jumping. Fitting, no?

...actually, that’s a load of bull. I just did it because it seemed like an effing crazy fun way to spend my birthday weekend.

First up in my “Thrillogy” of jumps was the Kawarau Bridge Bungy. A little background: AJ Hackett, a native Kiwi, pioneered the sport of commercial bungy jumping. The Kawarau Bridge Bungy was the world’s first commercial bungy site, where the layperson can go and experience the extreme sport for themselves. Also, my spellchecker would like me to think that “bungee” is the proper spelling, but since AJ Hackett invented bungy, I figure I’ll go with his way.

Anyway, AJ Hackett Bungy has helped over a million jumpers conquer their fears and take the plunge in its 20-some years of operation, and there have only ever been 42 minor injuries and no major injuries or deaths. Safety is the first priority of all staff members, and all equipment is state-of-the-art and extremely safe.

But let me tell you something: when you’re standing on a bridge, feet bound by a towel and a harness strapped from your ankles to your crotch and staring 43 meters (141 feet) into the raging Kawarau river below, all of that reassuring knowledge goes out the window. The part of the brain in charge of logic meekly whispers “It’s perfectly safe,” from the backseat while pure, raw, self-preservation instinct is screaming “Oh my fucking Jesus, what are you doing?!”

Still, I managed to shut my brain down long enough to take the plunge. In a word, it was insane. For a few split-seconds I experienced nothing but ground-rush (water rush, perhaps?) and then—SPLASH!—I was quickly dunked into the river and just as quickly yo-yoing back into the air to bob around for a bit before being pulled into the recovery boat below. The video does it more justice:

Make sure your sound is turned on! Unless you're at work, in which case you will absolutely want to make sure the volume is off.



For the record, that is a yell, not a scream, thank you very much.

The second act in my Thrillogy brought me to The Ledge Bungy. It’s a part of the Skyline area up on Bob’s Peak, the same place where Alexa and I went luging and paragliding when we first arrived in Queenstown. It’s called an “urban bungy,” although it isn’t really in the midst of the city. Queenstown does, however, serve as a pretty spectacular backdrop to the jump.

The Ledge Bungy is more like a swing than a proper bungy, as the harness goes around your upper-body rather than around the ankles, and there’s a runway to run and jump out as opposed to a little platform to leap off.

All in all, it wasn’t quite as exhilarating as the Kawarau Bridge jump, although it did leave me with a pretty impressive bruise on my right bicep. Here’s the video:



For the rest of the day I rode the indescribable high of having just completed two jumps in one day, and that ended the experience for Friday. Like a fool I had booked the final (and highest) jump for today, nearly a full 24 hours after my first jump at Kawarau. A full 24 hours for my adrenaline-fueled high to burn out. A full 24 hours to poke around on youtube, watching videos of the Nevis Highwire Platform, the world’s third-highest commercial bungy site at 134 meters (440 feet, or 1.5 times the length of a football field). A full 24 hours to contemplate and, eventually, dread the foolish decision I’d made. Surely I must be insane, thinking I was going to jump from this:



Now you can see where the Nevis Highwire gets its name. Suspended high over the Nevis valley on wires, the glass-bottomed “jump-pod” can only be reached by cable car.

Still, despite an incredibly anxious morning of going for a run, eating a small breakfast, and pacing around the flat waiting to leave for the jump, it actually wasn’t much more frightening than the Kawarau jump. Up until the point that I had to step out onto the tiny 2x2 jumping platform, I was relatively fine. As you can see in the video below, though, my terror increased exponentially as I stepped out onto the eensty weensty square. Again, I don’t think the feeling is something that can be successfully explained without experiencing it for yourself. There’s a great difference between actual risk (very low) and perceived risk (HUGE!), but logic gets shoved to the side and perceived risk is all that matters, because some part of the brain thinks its about to die despite all the safety precautions.

So terrified. I can barely even wave to Alexa, I just want to jump so bad, ha ha:



Apparently the microphones were up in the jump-pod, so you can't quite hear me for the whole jump. Rest assured, I did shout in terror/exhiliration for the entire fall. Albeit with a pause in between to take a breath, since the free-fall lasts 8.5 seconds. In my first bounce I let out a braver-sounding "Wooo-hoooo!" and a "FUCK YEAH!" which I don't think the mic managed to pick up. Also, the little flip I do at the end is thanks to the orange strap you're supposed to pull at the height of your second bounce. If you fail to do this, you end up getting hauled back up upside-down, so it's a good thing I succeeded.

So there you have it. Altogether, bungy jumping was an incredible experience—and it was an experience. The anticipation, the waiting, the terror, and the adrenal high/buzz afterwards were all just as important as the jumps themselves.

And I can’t wait to do more! I probably won’t do the Queenstown jumps again, as this is a rather expensive hobby and I’d rather pay to jump in new places. But if I can coerce Mike into going with me, I would definitely do Nevis again. Otherwise, my next jump will probably be the AJ Hackett site in Auckland, or maybe the purpose-built bungy tower in Cairns, Australia. We’ll see!

Until next time, here’s hoping you guys found this entry more interesting than the past few. I know alpaca-feeding is the most exhilarating thing in the world, eh?

The exotic wildlife of Deer Park Heights.

Looming 600 meters above the city lies Queenstown’s best kept secret, Deer Park Heights. Scratch that. It’s not really a secret at all since they play ads for it on the radio every five minutes, promising spectacular 360 degree panoramic views of the Wakatipu Basin and encounters with “exotic wildlife” such as sheep, horses, pigs, goats, deer, llamas, and alpacas. I suppose calling llamas and alpacas exotic isn’t too much of a stretch, but they’re going to have a hard time convincing me with the sheep. Fun fact: New Zealand has an impressive population of 40 million sheep to its 4 million people.

Still, we thought we’d give it a gander and drove on up. For the cost of $20 per car we were allowed to roam the dusty roads of the 800 hectare working deer farm. I think that’s something I haven’t mentioned yet. Here on the south island, there are numerous deer farms and venison can be bought in the supermarket just like beef, pork, or chicken. There could be deer farms in the US as well, but I’ve certainly never seen any. It would be a bit silly, since we have such an overabundance of deer that they routinely chuck themselves in front of cars speeding down the highway.

For the low price of $1 coin we filled up a large tin with “animal nuts,” which essentially looks just like the pellets you find at any petting zoo and set off to drive around feeding crazy animals. Here I am with a few alpacas:

Alexa, as you may know, holds a special hatred for any non-human animals. Fairly recently she made an exception in the form of her mom’s dog, Shuggy, but otherwise fears/hates animals. Yet she volunteered to feed a baby piglet and, with some persuasion, even an alpaca.

Cost of admission to Deer Park Heights: $20
Bucket of animal nuts: $1
The look on Alexa’s face after having alpaca eat from her hand:

Priceless.

Apart from its animals, Deer Park Heights’ main appeal is the stunning views of Queenstown and its rugged terrain. The latter made it an ideal filming location for several scenes from LOTR: The Two Towers. Most of them were spots that only super nerdy film-buffs would recognize, but we found one that looked familiar. Remember the scene where Aragorn is fighting an orc on the edge of a cliff and then he falls off into the river below? Here’s the spot:

And that’s me hanging on for dear life! Oh no. Actually there isn’t a river far, far below, but just another ledge and then a gradually-sloping hill. For the movie they superimposed the Kawarau River (the one we traversed on a jet boat) into the shot. It isn’t too much of a stretch, since the Kawarau River is visible from parts of Deer Park Heights. Deer Park Heights also served as the filming location for a 1986 Disney movie called The Rescue, and a movie set (a Korean Prison) still remains. The farm is also being used for the upcoming movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, so maybe we'll recognize some of the scenery when that comes out.

For those of you coming to visit us in the coming months, you’ll be thrilled to know that you’re flying into the largest, most state-of-the-art airport in the world. Behold, Queenstown Frankton Airport:

On the bright side you won’t have to worry about it being a terribly busy airport.

As we left Deer Park Heights, we passed by this fellow:

Hugest deer I’ve ever seen in my life. For perspective, check out how big his head is when he decided to come closer to our car to investigate. Fortunately Alexa closed the window just in time.

So that's about it for Deer Park Heights, and about all there is to say for this entry. Until next time... go see a dentist if you have teeth like that deer. Gross!

It was worth waking up at 6 am for...

Hurray President Obama!

That is all.

Milford Sound and Brick Bread.

Hey all! Remember me? I'm Eoin, your favorite person in the world and this here is The Eoin Zone, your favorite blog. It's all coming back now, right? I apologize for the gap in time since my last post (I know you all look forward to my blog so much), but that's what happens with a full-time job. FreshChoice pretty much owns my life now. Still, if I complained about not getting enough hours in Wellington, I can't rightly complain about having too many now. Around the Christmas and New Year period my schedule was kind of flimsy, but I've had the same schedule for the past two weeks and the upcoming week, so I think they have me set into a fixed roster now. I work 4 hours (from 4-8 pm) Sundays, and 9 hours Monday-Thursday (12-9 Mon-Wed, 10-7 Thurs), coming to a grand total of 38 paid hours a week (they don't pay for breaks--what is this shit?!) Really, it isn't all that bad. Believe it or not, working checkout at a supermarket is not incredibly taxing work, mentally or physically. It can be very, very dull at times, but that's my only complaint. I am at least blessed with fun and interesting coworkers.

Still, all work and no play drives Eoin to drinking and hard drug use, so we have been having fun on my days off. Last weekend we went to Milford Sound. Milford Sound is perhaps New Zealand's most famous tourist attraction. If you've heard of anything in New Zealand (apart from Lord of the Rings), it's probably Milford Sound. A sound is a large body of water/valley carved out by rivers over thousands and thousands of years. Milford Sound is actually a fiord, though, which is a body of water/valley carved out by glacial melt over thousands and thousands of years. Apparently there was no (and still isn't) an equivilent english word for fiord, so explorers inadvertantly gave it the misnomer Milford Sound, and the title has stuck. Does it really matter? Probably not.

Anyway, Milford Sound is famous for its beauty. It's surrounded on all sides by rainforest-covered mountains. They aren't your typical tree-topped mountains, though. Since the valley was carved out by glaciers, the mountains are sheerly rock, no topsoil. The trees grow in a thin layer of lichen and moss. Somehow the lichen is able to hold up the weight of the massive trees. Unsurprisingly, though, this arrangement doesn't last indefinitely, and once a tree gets too heavy it falls down the side of the mountain, tearing down the trees below in its wake in a pyramid shape (think of how knocking down the front pin in bowling causes the others behind it to topple). Apart from pretty trees, there's also a wide array of wildlife including countless varieties of fish, dolphins, seabirds, penguins, and fur seals. Yes, once again we were lucky enough to bear witness to the stunningly majestic (or just fat and lazy) fur seal. We also saw a few seagull chicks. No dolphins or penguins this time around though, sadly.

Mitre Peak in Milford Sound:

Once again we bear witness to a colony of majestic fur seals:

The drive to Milford Sound was just as scenic as the boat ride itself. The drive from Te Anau to the Milford wharf is only a little over 100 km, and yet the brochure said the drive would take three hours. Thankfully this wasn't the fault of overly-windy and mountainous roads, but rather the never-ending display of beautiful mountains, glaciers, forests, rivers, and waterfalls. We literally pulled over every 5-10 minutes to get out and have a look. We easily passed 300-400 waterfalls, ranging in size from garden-hose trickles to massive cascades of water.

At a parking lot/lookout point along the way, we had an interesting encounter with a group of kea. Kea are a species of New Zealand parrot. Unlike the kaka we saw at the Karori Wildlife Sanctuary in Wellington, the kea are not shy. They landed on cars, hopped around the parking lot, and swooped at tourists without care. One even graced us by landing on the roof of the Corona. Check it out!

As you can see, it's quite a large bird. So when the call of nature struck a few seconds after this picture was taken, it's no surprise the shit dripping down the roof of our car was equally collosal. Thanks, kea. Thanks a lot.

In summary, Milford Sound is great. Waterfalls, glaciers, huge mountains, lazy fur seals, and giant bird poops. If you're ever in New Zealand, don't miss it.

Also on the fun side of things, some group or other have been putting on outdoor movies in the Queenstown gardens. Tuesday we went to check it out and sprawled out on a sleeping bag in front of a large inflatable screen to watch Lars and the Real Girl. I was expecting it to be mostly a comedy, but I should have known better. Ryan Gosling. Duh, Eoin: it's a chick flick. Still, it wasn't all bad and it definitely had its funny moments. And the experience of watching a movie out under the stars was nothing to complain about.

Turning to the mundane aspects of life, we've experienced two recent failures. Yesterday we took the Corona to get its WOF (Warrant of Fitness) renewed. The WOF inspection basically determines if the car is road-fit, testing things like oil leaks, seat belts, windshield wipers, tire alignment, etc. Unfortunately, our car failed on two minor issues that alone would have been passable, but in conjunction warranted a failure. Some metal axel thingy or another on the back tire is bent out of shape, and there's a minor exhaust leak. That would explain the weird smell! Fortunately it's not going to cost us much to fix.

Yesterday I also attempted to bake a loaf of bread from scratch, as per my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. As Alexa so gently put it, I "made a brick." Thanks sweetheart. She's right, though. If it'd been more spherical in shape my bread could've passed for a bowling ball. Despite a hard exterior, though, the inside (what little there was) did taste like bread. I later discovered that I failed to proof the yeast properly so the dough didn't rise anywhere near what it was supposed to. My second attempt is in the oven as I'm writing, so let's keep those fingers crossed. Rise, rise, rise, damnit!

In closing, here's a few more pictures:

A waterfall in Milford Sound:

Water falling down the side of a tree-covered cliff along the road from Te Anau to Milford:


The Mirror Lakes, another sight along the way from Te Anau to Milford. The DOC (Department of Conservation) is so clever!



That's all for now. Hopefully my next entry will be more timely.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Hopefully your hangovers have worn off by now. If not, you have my pity.

Of course it's already well into January 2nd here in New Zealand so the festivities have long since ended and life is returning to normal. As a bonus, though, January 2nd is a public holiday here. It's very creatively-titled "The Day After New Year's Day." Oooh.

Normally I don't make New Year's resolutions because I think I'd probably forget about it in a week or less and end up a failure. After spending an unsuccessful hour trying to fall asleep last night, though, I crawled out of bed and did some web-surfing. I found this: 101 Things to do in 1001 Days Project. Coincidentally enough, it was dreamt up by a Kiwi.

Quoting the site, the mission is to "Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days [2.75 years]" with the following criteria: "Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable, or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of effort on your part)." Somewhere on the site, it also recommends using the following acronym when thinking up your goals:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

Smart. So clever, yeah?

Since it was past midnight and I was in the grips of some inexplicable bout of insomnia, I spent the next two and a half hours browsing through a LiveJournal community filled with other people taking a stab at this challenge. Through a combination of taking inspiration from others' ideas and coming up with items on my own, I came up with a list of about 60 things. This morning I worked on it some more and I'm up to about 87. Rather than finish it off with things that are rushed and silly, I'll add the last 14 items as they come to me. Maybe you guys can offer suggestions?

Anyway, the following list is a collection of things I'm definitely going to do if all goes to plan, things that I would like to do, things I think I should do, some things that are just plain silly, and a set of challenges.

Have a look:

The Big Three OR Expensive Goals (Complete one and plan/save money towards the other two)
1. Attempt to hike the Appalachian trail.
2. Visit two new continents (Asia, Africa, South America, or dare I suggest Antarctica?!).
3. Put my Irish passport to use and spend six months to a year living and working in Europe.

Things I've Been Meaning to Do
1. Read fifteen classic novels I somehow avoided in my Alfred education. (0/15)
2. Read fifteen of the unread books in my room. (0/15)
3. Watch twenty of the movies that people are always shocked to learn I haven't seen. (0/20)
4. Finish reading the rest of my Hemingway collection.

Artistic Endeavors
1. Complete Script Frenzy once.
2. Complete NaBloPoMo twice. (0/2)
3. Write or edit something every day for a week.
4. Write or edit something every day for a month with four "sick days."
5. Write or edit something every day for a year with thirty "sick days."
6. Complete NaNoWriMo twice. (0/2)
7. Submit at least five short stories to a publication (0/5).
8. Submit at least one extended work (novel, novella, or anthology) to a publisher.
9. Get a piece of writing, no matter how small or insignificant, published and paid for.
10. Reunite MAWB and have at least one more concert for our like... seven fans.

Becoming Cultured
1. Try 40 new beers (0/40).
2. Tour a brewery.
3. Go to a wine tasting.
4. Learn to bake bread from scratch.
5. Cook twenty-five new meals from recipe books/websites (0/25).
6. Visit five museums I've never been to before. (0/5)
7. Visit five zoos/aquariums that I've never been to before. (0/5)
8. Go to a professional rugby game.
9. Improve my Spanish.
10. Go see an opera.
11. See Senses Fail live.
12. See the Offspring live.
13. See Jim Gaffigan live.

Challenges
1. Exercise at least four days a week (0/143)
2. Go undefeated in a night of pool-playing against either Dad or Mike. This may be the toughest yet.
3. Go a week without using any non-essential electronics. No computer, radio, TV, etc--but I can use the lights, stove, etc. This has to be an ordinary week, not while I'm on vacation or camping.
4. Eat vegan for a week.
5. Go on a water-only fast for 48 full hours.
6. Go a month without using the internet for anything other than answering essential emails. No facebook, myspace, youtube or wikipedia. All my researching and communication will be done the old-fashioned way.
7. Run a mile in 7:30.
8. Go a week without using a microwave.
9. Go a month without using a microwave.
10. Go a month without eating out/ordering in/buying pre-made foods.
11. Go a week without products containing high fructose corn syrup.
12. Go a month without the same.
13. Go a week without products containing MSG--in any of its sneaky names.
14. Go a month without the same.

Adventure On
1. Skydive.
2. Bungee Jump.
3. Go kayaking.
4. Visit Machu Picchu.
5. Visit Australia.
6. Go skiing.
7. Learn to rollerblade.
8. Go paint balling.
9. Go fishing.
10. See the Grand Canyon.
11. Fire a real gun (in a controlled environment at an inanimate target--don't worry!)
12. Go snorkeling.

The Greater Good
1. Save money and the environment: don't buy bottled water. (0/143)
2. Spend 50 hours volunteering (0/50).
3. Donate 500,000 grains of rice on Freerice.org. (0/500,000)
4. Donate $2 to charity for every item crossed off my "101 Things in 1001 Days"
list, $5 for every item left uncompleted.
5. Reconnect with an old friend or relative, even if only for one conversation.
6. Assess my possessions, determine what I don't need, and take it to Salvation Army once every six months. (0/5)
7. Participate in a public demonstration/protest for a cause I believe in.
8. Donate $200 in food and toys to local food/toy drives. (0/200)
9. Do the Polar Bear Plunge again, should I find myself in Maryland at the right time.
10. Buy/consume only locally-grown/made food for a week.
11. Do the same for a month.
12. Buy nothing made in China for a month.
13. Apart from food, shop only at Salvation Army for a month.
14. Do ten big favors for friends or family. (0/10)

Personal/Self-Improvement
1. Write a letter to my future self, giving advice and hopes and details, and then don't look at it until the last day of this challenge.
2. Give contact lenses another shot.
3. Correct my posture.

For the Hell of it (here are the silly items and some that just didn't fit elsewhere)
1. Sing karaoke in public.
2. Go to a restaurant and eat in reverse: dessert, main course, appetizer. Bonus: no drinks until the end since that's usually what comes first.
3. Wrap 2009's Christmas presents in obituaries and personal ads.
4. Go into a store and pretend to not speak English while keeping a straight face.
5. Get a professional massage like Alexa keeps telling me to.
6. Write something profound on a bathroom wall.
7. Try to juggle eggs while drunk.
8. Make a movie with my friends--and not just a drunken music video.
9. Go camping with Christine, Gary, and the kids.
10. Go to a theme park with them too.
11. Go to Universal Studios when they open the Harry Potter Theme Park. (This is one I stole from another person's list. Look it up! It's awesome!)
12. Read all seven Harry Potter books in five days!
13. Send a postcard to post secret.
14. Eat something new and outside my comfort zone (real sushi, like a big hunk of raw fish, not the rolled-stuff. Or the internal organs of some poor animal, or something equally gross).


That's the list as it stands now. I'm not sure if the categories are logical, but I think they are. Obviously there are several items that fit into more than one category. Several of the "Challenges" could just as easily fit into "Personal/Self-Improvement," and many of the "Artistic Endeavors" could very well be "Challenges," and so on. I may end up making a separate category for the weekly ones (any containing [0/143]). A couple don't fit the SMART criteria--I'm not exactly sure how to measure "correct posture" or "Improve my Spanish" in any sort of objective way. Any ideas?

Soon I will make a separate blog to track my progress, because obviously it will be very annoying if The Eoin Zone is filled with massive 101-item long lists everytime I cross an item off. I just have to decide whether it's going to be here on blogspot or over in the dark, melancholy realm of LiveJournal. LiveJournal has the negative stigma of being filled with morose, whiney high schoolers, but at the same time it has a great community for 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days. The community has its fair share of whiney American teenagers, yes, but there are also a ton of other users from virtually every continent and age bracket. Goals range from high schoolers wanting their first kiss to aspiring graduates shooting for their first real job or opening their own business to middle-aged parents planning to spend more time with their children. The community can be found here for the interested.

If nothing else, sticking to this list should make the next 1001 days interesting. If any of you readers are inspired and decide to make your own list, let me know!

Anyway, I think I've made this post massive enough so I'll close with a few pictures.

Fireworks do not photograph well, sadly.

dDub, the live band playing on New Year's Eve. They were pretty good. Then again, I was blitzed, and of course drunk people think that any live music is THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVE THIS BAND!

I don't know. I really don't.